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| 2008 is over. So was my first love. We fell in love so hard that it seemed like it would last but it didn't. The only thing I regret is ever falling in love because the hurt now is unimaginable. He redefined what love meant. He redefined who I am. He was my everything and more, but that was the biggest problem. Now I'm left with nothing but tears and a broken heart. My song for him is FUCK YOU LUCY (Atmosphere) these are my fav parts of the song.
She say that she still wants a friendship
She can't live her life without me as a friend
I can't figure out why I give a damn to what she wants
I don't understand the now before the then
Most of this garbage I write that these people seem to like
Is about you and how I let you infect my life
And if they got to know you, I doubt that they would see it
They'd wonder what I showed you how you could leave it
A friend in Chicago said that I should stay persistent
If I stay around I'm bound to break resistance
Fuck you Lucy for defining my existence
Fuck you and your differences
And everyone in his life would mistake it as love
Everyone in his life would mistake it as love
Everyone in his life would mistake it as love
Fuck the "what happened?", I got stuck
They can peel pieces of me off the grill of her truck
Used to walk with luck, used to hold her hand
Fell behind then played the role of a slower man
I want to stand on top of this mountain and yell
I want to wake up and break up this lake of hell
I feel like a bitch for letting the she twist me up
The last starfighter is wounded, time to give it up
On a pick it up mission, kept it bitter
Gettin' in a million memories just to forget her
The difficulty in keepin' emotions controlled
Cookies for the road, took me by the soul
Hunger for the drama, hunger for the nurture
Gonna take it further, the hurt feels like murder
Interpret the eyes, read the lines on her face
The sunshine is fake, how much time did I waste?
Fuck you Lucy for leaving me
Fuck you Lucy for not needing me
I wanna say fuck you because I still love you
No, I'm not okay, and I don't know what to do
Do I sound mad? Well I guess I'm a little pissed
Every action has a point, five points make a fist
You close 'em, you swing 'em, it's hurts when it hits
And the truth can be a bitch, but if the boot fits
I got an idea: You should get a tattoo that says "Warning"
That's all, just a warning, so the potential victim can take a left and save breath,
And avoid you, sober and upset in the morning
I wanna scream, "Fuck you Lucy!"
But the problem is I love you Lucy
So instead I'ma finish my drink and have another
While you think about how you used to be my lover
I still love him, I think in someway or how I always will. Goodbye 2008 & goodbye Justin Shin. I hope this isn't our final goodbye....
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| I’m finally in college. Its astonishing. I’ve been always anticipating and awaiting this year but turns out… it ain’t that great. I mean college is alright except the fact that it’s just like HIGHSCHOOl except its bigger with ashtrays everywhere. Ugh I don’t know whether I should stay at UIC or transfer to another school. Decisions decisions decisions///… Everything in my life is alright. Everything is all just bearable. Nothing is perfect nor is anything wrong. My life has been so boring lately, boring but relaxing. I don’t have any drama but sometimes I miss that lifestyle. Haha being a teeny bopper and party hopping everywhere. I feel old and I’m not even nineteen. Ridiculous. I wish I could just be thirty already haha. Skip school and menial work and get to the office job. Yeahhh! Winter break is coming up 
I’m in between going to New York, Korea, or just staying home with the boyfriend. I really want to go to New York but so broke -_-; Even if I go I won’t be able to go shopping! Ugh I’m getting addicted to shopping. This is bad. BAD! I want to go to Korea too though. I miss it over there. The night life over there is A-MAZING, but all my cousins aren’t even there so I won’t have anyone to play with if I go :/ SO I guess I’ll end up staying in cold dirty ole chicago! Birthday’s
  Bunni (December 1, 2008), your birthday is coming up! I<3 you gosh I’m seriously so glad I found you. Your like the perfect gf <3 haha
Silly boy (December 13, 2008), HOY! Your 22… damn your old. Haha seriously I can’t believe we’re all getting so old man. I remember when I was just 15 and you were 18 at prom. Haha Happy birthday brah love you always.
Lets bring back the 90's hip hop. Thats the creme de la creme to me. I love this shit to death. I don't understand most of these 'hip hop' shit on the radio. What happened to sick ass beats with some sick ass lines? Whats with all this retro shit? I mean yeah its nice but its not something that I would want to listen to twice. Ugh I miss people like KRS One, Crypress Hill, & Binary Star. I grew up on this shit. Haha I just recently downloaded a bunch of 90's songs onto my laptop & I'm fucking missing the 90's. Dude those were thee days. Oh man I miss being 14 and going to DV (Diversions for all those who don't know). Damn those were the days. I miss being cool with everyone, all this drama crap is getting old. I don't even care about all that shit anymore.
  This is Mr. Teddy II a present from my bf (I killed the first Mr. Teddy cause I got mad at my bf -_-;; Im crazy I know). I ♥ Mr. Teddy II, yeah we're pretty caute
End of blog, Good morning Chicago
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| I use to always write in my xanga and post up alot of pictures. What happened? Well today's blog is more of a .. journal slash diary type thing. I seem to have found my self caught up in another relationship, and the same as always Im holding myself back. I guess its because I know nothing good will come from it. Well yeah there will be some good times but overall Ill just remember all those bad times and all those arguements. I have disappointment but life comes filled with so many of them. I seem to disappointment myself more than anyone else. I do so many bad things even when I know of the consequences and all those nonsense things. Im the worst :/
It started out with a kiss it was only a kiss it was only a kiss. I love that part from my chemical romance. I think thats by far my most favorite line. I wish I can just sail away to a tropical island with no bugs. Impossible?! Yeah it is :( Oh well one can only dream. Well that is the end for todays .. nonsense talk. I think I will be writing in here more often. Its so much more convient than a diary ... So much to write, typing is so much easier and faster. Oh technology!
It is now 4:48 and I plan to knock out after this. Goodmorning/night chicago.
I wish today will be a better tomorrow.
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| FUNNIEST THING EVER!
So I went to the gas station by my house to buy sister a drink, and I wanted to buy gum but I didn't have enough money. So, I put it next to me and I was on the phone with my husband while this happened. The guy at the gas station gave me a bag to put all the stuff I bought for my sister. So I stuffed everything in there and walked out, and when I got home I looked in the bag and I see the gum in there. So I accidently put the gum in there cause I was distracted by my husband. Lol. SOO! I went back to the gas station to pay for the gum and there was this WEIRD car just parked in the entrance of the gas station. I thought he was either day for drugs or a prostitute. When I went into the gas station that guy started laughing and we talked about it for awhile. Than when I went out the weird car was right in front of the door. And as I was walking it followed me. But when I ran across the street it turned the other way. I think he thought I was a prostitute!!!!! Hahaah
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